I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
