Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
