Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
