I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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