theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
