yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
