This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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