I can't watch pbs sober anymore
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
