gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
