Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
