Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
