Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
