Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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