It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
