so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
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