Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
