I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
