I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
