the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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