One girl and one boy is just not enough.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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