I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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