Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
