the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
