apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
