she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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