At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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