It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
