flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
