I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
