To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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