i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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