What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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