yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
