that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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