I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
