well I can't set my house on fire every night
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
