no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Randomize
