if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
