guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
