she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Pants are for mortals
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
