the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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