is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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