She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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