Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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