I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Are we still banned from the library?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
