if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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