As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
