That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
