I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
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