I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
