I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
